Friday, 16 March 2012

We are stardust, we are golden. An Introduction!

Welcome to One The Road: Back to the Garden! (Yes, I love Kerouac and Joni Mitchell!). I am a nineteen year old (turning twenty in two months) with a huge passion for health, nutrition, spirituality, alternative medicine, thought power, healing energies and just about anything and everything else that has the power to transform and improve our lives. Especially in the toxic filled, stressful and disconnected society that we live in today.

Let me tell you my story and explain why I decided to make this blog!:
Since I was around eleven years old I began experiencing blinding migraines, I also had frequent stomach pains. Even though the migraines didn't occur every day, I did experience headaches along with the stomach pains practically every single day until just about a year ago. That's eight years! My real problems started at fourteen, I began suffering from depression and social anxiety, I never had any energy, I was always irritable and unhappy and couldn't leave the house without my bottle of Tylenol. I found solace in alcohol, it was the only way I could communicate with people without feeling drained and anxious. By the end of the eleventh grade I was drinking every single day, by my senior year I was a complete internal mess. My social anxiety got so bad that even alcohol stopped working. I would go out and take things too far every time, some nights I remember doing three or four different drugs on top of the alcohol just so I could feel something different, I was incredibly impulsive. By the end of my senior year my depression and anxiety was at a whole new level, I couldn't form clear thoughts or sentences, I couldn't think straight, I locked myself in my room for days because nothing seemed possible or doable, I began to feel anxious about everything, not only social interactions, but every single thing, from sending a text message to reading a book to brushing my teeth. That's also when I began to feel extremely disconnected from my family and friends, I thought that my mental health was failing and I was terrified. I tried explaining to my parents and my close friends what was happening to me, but no one understood and no one knew how to help me, I felt so lost and alone. I moved 1,300 miles away to attend college, I'm not sure how I survived a whole semester, I was blowing all my money at the bars, I wasn't going to class, I was ordering pizza every other night and eating at Denny's in between, I got fired from my hostessing job, my roommate hated me, and I didn't do laundry for two months. All I wanted was to live a productive and put together existence, I did, but my mind was ruining my life. After the first semester I moved back home, that's when I finally got some answers. For the first time I found out that I was and had been suffering from social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder all those years. I literally cried from happiness once I finally had a name for it, it was such a relief knowing that I wasn't going crazy and that I wasn't alone. I began doing cognitive behavioral therapy at home which helped my anxiety tremendously, but I never ended up finishing the program, life threw some pretty tragic obstacles my way (I'm still not comfortable discussing the events that took place, but I knew that my life would forever change). Instead my family and I were forced to sell everything we owned and move to a different city where we had to start over. I was completely heartbroken and devastated, I watched my entire life get sold off and boxed up, we only brought one or two suit cases each. That's when I knew that I only had two choices: I could let the pain take over and destroy me or I could take charge once and for all. I chose the latter. That was a year ago and since making that choice I've been on an incredible journey of both ups and downs. With trial and error I finally took control of my mind, I no longer suffer from depression, my generalized anxiety is completely gone, my social anxiety is under control, I no longer experience headaches and stomach aches, I can think clearly, I have ten times more energy than I ever remember having, I am doing things that I used to run away from, I am discovering myself, getting to know my nature and for the first time in my life I feel genuinely happy. I still have a long way to go, but the difference from a year ago is unmistakable.

I couldn't have began healing myself without realizing that...

1. The society that we live in is TOXIC, and it's disconnecting us with our true nature.
2. The only way to live to our full potential is naturally and organically. 
3. And that we all have full control of our minds. 

Which brings me to why I started this blog: During my long research into depression and anxiety I came across an alarming amount of people who felt hopeless, who thought that they were incurable, who didn't know what to do, who trusted doctors and therapists and took prescription drugs. I know first hand how depression and anxiety can debilitate a life, and now I know first hand how possible and simple it is to move past it. Every single human being alive deserves to experience life with a pristine body and mind, with their natural state of health, so they can reach their full human potential! I am so excited to finally be starting this blog, all I want to do is raise awareness, spread my knowledge and help you on your journey to health and mental wellness. Join me on the road, back to the garden!

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